November thoughts

Hello all! Apologies for taking so long to get this blog up and running. Posts start back from September,  so that is where an intro to what I'm doing/where I'm living/general info is. Thanks for coming to read, and please do comment/email me  - I'd really love to hear how you all are!!



Thoughts for November go like this (well, some of them! All would be a bit long) ... 


I just celebrated my first Thanksgiving away from home, and it was a bittersweet experience for sure. The bitter - missing family and friends. The sweet - Nuns! Yep, that's right, amazing nuns. One of the beautiful things about being a new-ish JV in Belize City is getting to know the network of people who have been family away from family for JV's over the last 25 years. The Sisters are part of that network, and wanted a chance to meet the new arrivals (me and other first years!). They also knew we would be missing home on Thanksgiving, and extended an invitation to celebrate with them. 

I had never been to a monastery/convent/religious life community house (still not sure what the right word is!), and going helped me understand better why people choose religious life as a vocation. They welcomed us inside, and we walked right into a delicious smelling kitchen overflowing traditional Thanksgiving foods they had spent all day making. Our contributions were the salad and deviled eggs made by Gina, and a pillowcase full of challah bread made by Jaret. We prayed together, talked together, drank wine together, and ate sooo much good food. It felt like a family. The nuns are young and old, Belizian and American, quiet and loud, and it was beautiful to see the community they had created with such a diverse group. After dinner, our JV community sat and talked and played with silverware, while the nuns refused our help cleaning up and headed into the kitchen to splash each other with dishwater.Definitely good times :)

Bittersweet has been a theme for the month of November. One of the sweetest miracles on my time here has been helping a young woman decide to leave an abusive relationship. A few Wednesdays ago, my boss asked me to spend the afternoon researching domestic violence and survivor support. One in four Belizian women will experience violence in her lifetime, so it is a topic we do a lot of advocacy and outreach around. I learned a lot and gained some tools I hadn't had. The very next morning, one of the girls I counsel asked me if I had any advice about staying with an abusive boyfriend. If she had come the day before, I would have had no idea what to say, but thanks to some divinely appointed prep work, I had the resources on hand to sit down with her and work through the decision together. In the end, she decided on her own that leaving would be the best and safest choice. Sharing that process with her was a powerful experience for me, and one in which I felt God accompanying us both. Unfortunately, she is no longer able to attend our school due to unhealthy behavioral choices, and that felt really bitter, like failure.

Gina, one of my community mates, shared a prayer by Mother Theresa during one of our house Spirituality Nights, part of which reads: 

     

            People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway...

               What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

                  If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

                          The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

                   Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

                                     In the final analysis, it is between you and God. 

                                       It was never between you and them anyway.

 I am learning, yes, the prayer is true - it is between God and I; but it is also between God and them. God is the one who brought that young woman here, helped her with her choice to leave her boyfriend, and will continue to be with her wherever she is now. God is the one responsible for growing and shaping her into who she needs to become. My chance to be a part of that process was never about me seeing "lasting results" anyway. It was about being part of her journey regardless of outcome, and trusting that the results of that journey are between God and her.

God is challenging me to love into the unstable and the unknown, to love as a limited woman in a limited world held together by an unlimited God, and to let that be enough. I just need help to do that! So that's where I need your support through prayer. Knowing family and friends are praying both for me and for communities here is a deep blessing to me, so thank you so much and please keep it up. And thanks for reading this rambly blog, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you :) 

Love alla unu!

--LA

PS: Logistics update - I'm now school counselor instead of teacher!  Woah - just realized I can see answered prayers happening from my panicked post back in September...mind blown... God sent an amazing woman to YES who taught for 25 years, was bored in retirement, and decided she wanted to volunteer all year with YES! Now we have enough staff for me to be a counselor, which I like a lot. Apologies if that was confusing :)

October!

Greetings again :)

It's a hot October day in Belize, banks of clouds roll across the sky as heat rises off the meadow outside my window. I'm typing in my office as we wait for visitors from the US Embassy to come and tour our school. It's a fairly important visit, as they can fund us, and our school is working hard to assure continued funding right now.

YES has been really tight for funds this year, and while it's been hard, it's also been teaching me. For instance, most of our girls don't eat regularly at home.They come to school hungry and can't concentrate, so we used to provide breakfast and lunch. However, we can't afford to anymore. When the day came for us to tell them there would be no food, one of the staff surprised us with a case of ramen noodles. There was enough for that whole week, and the girls all ate and were full. The next week, a man from the board donated some boxes of rice and beans. Then the cook, Miss Margaret, came in with fresh conch from her home in the Cayes. Up to date, there has been food on the table for the girls every day. The girls are starting, with some urging from staff, to take ownership as well, and are bringing in what they can - even a lime or a packet of coconut milk. I am learning that sometimes God's provision doesn't look like a big grant commitment or a huge international donor, but comes in the form of each of us giving a little so that we can have enough together. That said - keep praying the food keeps coming! (And, we wouldn't say no to any huge donors either if they happened to offer!)

A bright spot here is my community. I'll tell you a bit about each of the folks I share life/our home with:

Gina - She is from Missippi, and she loves to cook. I love her cooking, so that is working out well! Her work is as a librarian/teacher at the St. Martin's Parish School. She is very perceptive and a great person to debrief with after a long day at work, and has an excellent sense of humor.
Matt - Matt is very contentious, he will always stop to check in on how you are doing or what your opinions are during a community discussion. He is always ready to talk, which I really enjoy. He also writes multitudes of letters and works at the Prison with Jon.
Jon - He works at the prison with Matt, he is one of the two second year volunteers in our community. He is very good at meditating, and likes to share that with us, which is awesome. He looks out for us new volunteers and shares the deep thoughts and homemade popcorn he creates.
Christin - She is the other second  year volunteer, and one of the people who really help me feel at home here. She is good about asking how you really are, and she loves to sing so we get to sing together! She talks Kriol like a local and works coordinating the house building branch of a local ministry.
Jaret - Jaret is from California, and he did Intervarsity at his school. He likes to read, kill mosquitoes, and bake bread. Sometimes we go visit Churches together, which is a lot of fun. He is on the quieter side, with occasional bursts of insight and random humor - a good presence :)
Monique - Monique! We connected on our placement weekend way long ago, and she has been a wonderful friend ever since. She prays with me, which I really value, and we trade stories and help each other process, as well as laugh a lot together. She is from Hawai'i and loves baked goods :)

So, those are the folks I'm in community with. I'm glad to get to tell you a bit about them, since they are a big part of my life here. And, although our meetings can run long and grumpy and we sometimes struggle doing our chores, they are keeping me grounded and supported through this adventure, and I'm really glad for that!

This, of course, does not mean I miss any of you any less! You all are on my thoughts and in my prayers, and I send you love from Belize. And hugs :) Thanks for reading,

Peace,

Leigh Ann

First Post :O

Hello all!

Thanks for reading this! I've been in Belize for just over a month now, and I am finally getting settled in after our orientation to the country. The second year volunteers took two weeks to introduce us to Belize, which flew by in a blur of waterfalls, bumpy jungle roads, and City sights and sounds, all to a soundtrack of Rhianna's biggest hits (she is really popular here!). Now, I've started working and living in the community that will be my home for two years.

I live in a big, white, concrete house out back of St. Martin's Catholic Parish in Belize City, and we have a coconut palm AND a mango tree out front. In my community are four new volunteers like me (Monique, Matt, Jaret, and Gina), and two who are in their second year (Christin and Jon). We spend intentional time as a community several times a week, and also share life as it comes.

One of my favorite parts of orientation was staying overnight with a family in one of the rural areas of Belize (We live in the city but got to travel during orientation). A woman named Mikayla invited us to her home in the Mayan village of San Antonio, a small cluster of houses and farms in the jungle around the town of Punta Gorda. We cooked in an outdoor kitchen, making tortillas and grinding cacao to the sound of the rain falling in the forest around us. Mikayla also shared some of her thoughts and opinions as a witness to decades of cultural change and life experience in the village. Hearing her, watching the mist rise off the trees, and listening to the rythm of life in the village was one of the first moments I've felt truly peaceful since being here. 

One thing that is hard for me here is being exposed to violence. I've been privileged to grow up safe, and most of my neighbors in the city haven't. People in the US buy a lot of drugs, and that leads to a lot of violence in Central America, because the drug trade supports the gangs that fill neighborhoods like Martin's. Many young people, men in particular, have limited options for employment, and even fewer role models and spaces to be other than the streets. They are often entangled in the gangs at a young age, and it is really hard to get out. As my community and I sit to share a meal, play guitar, or prepare lesson plans for the next day, we hear gunfire and know that someone has been hurt or killed. If you have available prayers, please send them for peace here and for the people here. And, please don't worry reading this - no JV's have been hurt here!

Young women also struggle here, my work is with girls who face challenges from abuse to teenage pregnancy to poverty. Although I'm just beginning to know them, I'm already amazed at their resilience.YES (the NGO I'm working for) tries to fill in educational and vocational gaps they have, and provide counseling and support, but the organization has almost no money. For instance, it is myself and one other woman doing almost all the teaching for a school of 32 girls who deserve/need much more one on one attention that we can give, not to mention a teacher with a lot more experience than I have! There is no money, however, to hire anyone else, so this is what they get. And at the same time - the staff remind me that just having a safe space can be life changing for the girls, and just keeping the doors open is sometimes enough.

One thing that is hard for me personally is managing a classroom!  Staff here (who are older and wiser than me!) keep reminding me that the girls need their teachers to be women that set firm boundaries and push them to reach their potential. Many of them act out a lot because of issues at home, which means I have to set out limits - like telling people to be quiet and send them to the office if they don't, and making them take their Math assessments even when it's hot and we are all tired and cranky! (Oh yes - I'm a MATH teacher here, along with series of other subjects! God has a sense of humor for sure!)  So, it's been hard to know how to be a friend/support and an authority figure - honestly I have no idea how yet. But, I guess that's the good thing about having two years here to learn!

Verses that came up in prayer were from Isaiah 58:
"They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.
 ⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
   that have been devastated for generations."

These verses are powerful for me in the context of this place. The girls I learn/work with are marginalized in a lot of ways, as is the community in my neighborhood. And, God says that it is the marginalized who will make these verses true. Please be praying as/that these verses become reality in Belize, and send prayers that I become increasingly open to meeting Jesus in people here.

If you are interested in snail mailing, let me know and I'll send you my address. My email is leighanngreenfield@gmail.com. I love and miss you all! Very much.

Peace,

Leigh Ann